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S.H.I.E.L.D. Recruit Survival Tip #166:Sending Director Fury bedazzled eyepatches for special occasions is markedly unwise.

SHIELD Recruit Survival Tip But the bedazzle brings out his eyes- er, eye!

S.H.I.E.L.D. Recruit Survival Tip #470: We all know Thor has a distinctive speech pattern. Do not imitate it. [Submitted by heavilyparaphrased]

Recruit Survival Tip It is not a good idea to ask Agent Hill to accompany you to the mall today or any day. [Submitted by morganaajones]

S.H.I.E.L.D. Recruit Survival Tip #59:Don’t mention Director Fury’s name and the word ‘Pirate’ in one sentence.  [Submitted by wanderseeing]

Recruit Survival Tip mention Director Fury’s name and the word ‘Pirate’ in one sentence. [Submitted by wanderseeing]

S.H.I.E.L.D. Recruit Survival Tip #332:All S.H.I.E.L.D. agents should refrain from using ‘Aye, aye captain,’ as a salute to Director Fury. Saying this will most likely get you in the ICU.  [Submitted by eat-sleep-and-fangirl]

Recruit Survival Tip S. agents should refrain from using ‘Aye, aye captain,’ as a salute to Director Fury. Saying this will most likely get you in the ICU. [Submitted by eat-sleep-and-fangirl]

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Recruit Survival Tip you have a debriefing with Director Fury, make sure to grab something to eat first. You’

S.H.I.E.L.D. Recruit Survival Tip #364:Contrary to rumor, Pepper Potts does not outrank Director Fury. However, you are strongly advised to heed anything Ms. Potts says, due to the fact that she’s actually sensible.[Submitted anonymously]

Recruit Survival Tip light of the fact that common sense among recruits is surprisingly uncommon: do not wear Loki (or other S. enemy)-themed costumes to on-site costume parties. [Submitted by elkian]

S.H.I.E.L.D. Recruit Survival Tip #518: Do not tell Mr. Stark that the excuse ‘Pepper said it was okay!’ will hold any weight in arguments with Director Fury.  [Submitted by Liz]

Recruit Survival Tip Do not tell Mr. Stark that the excuse ‘Pepper said it was okay!’ will hold any weight in arguments with Director Fury. [Submitted by Liz]

S.H.I.E.L.D. Recruit Survival Tip #446:Director Fury’s interactions with the World Security Council are not under any circumstances to be taken as a model on how to deal with your superiors. Taking them as such can be detrimental to both your career and your health. [Submitted by babukoan]

Recruit Survival Tip Director Fury’s interactions with the World Security Council are not under any circumstances to be taken as a model on how to deal with your superiors. Taking them as such can be detrimental to both your career.

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