An apple a day keeps anyone away - if you throw it hard enough!

Throwing things is more your style but maybe this babyish behavior is the only thing you understand.


Just admit it, you like pushing the buttons on the vending machine for soda.even if you don't like soda.

I just love my bed

I love my relationship with my bed. No commitment needed. We just sleep together every night.

A Strongly Worded Letter to People Who Obsessively Update Us On Their Workouts. #WeDontGiveA  #FUCK

A Strongly Worded Letter to People Who Go Too Hard at the Gym

Unless you fell off the treadmill and smacked your face, no one wants to hear about your workout. Tell us about your workout, Lauren


I only drink on occasions - when it's my birthday and when it's not - vintage retro funny quote LOVE IT!

Two things I know for certain in my life. I have big boobs. My taste in music is wonderful.