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I do not like wearing pants. I don't want to go outside not wearing pants, I just want to be able to stay home and enjoy a pants-less life.

Hilarious meme from the house of funny  Click on the picture to see hundreds more!

Omg this was totally me doing a somersault for Harper. My neck hurt for days.



Funny Cross Stitch Pillow, Blue Pillow, Lazy Quote. $25.00, via Etsy.

Funny Cross Stitch Pillow, Blue Pillow, Lazy Quote from NeedleNosey Stitchery. Saved to Snarky Cross Stitch Pillows.

Not that these young whippersnappers even know what a bounced check is

getting old sucks. I used to wake up like a million bucks.now i feel like a bounced check

Yes please <3

Treat me like a Queen - vintage retro funny quotes

This drives me nuts when the cashier packs your item how they want.  Now, before they even begin the transaction, I tell the to bag it how it comes down the conveyor... and yes, I get a lot of nasty looks, but they're my groceries dammit!!!

Thank you, Cashier, for bagging my groceries in such a nonsensical way considering the fact that all of the items were grouped on the conveyer belt in an orderly fashion. I HATE THAT! IT DRIVES ME CRAZY! or when they put two things in EVER BAG!

All is fair when it comes to chocolate. ;-) #skinnycow #skinnyism #quote

Funny Skinny Cow Ecard: You can always trust me around your man, but keep an eye on me around your chocolate.

... Hahaha absolutely

Always a good idea: when life knocks me down, instead of getting right back up. I usually stay right there and take a quick nap.